


Finding Truths

by brokenhighways



Series: Finding Happiness [8]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 02:04:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4329618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are many things that Jared’s never expected to come home to find. Jensen leaning on the kitchen counter and sizing up a random kid sitting at the kitchen table is one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Truths

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I'm not quite done with this verse... :)

There are many things that Jared’s never expected to come home to find. Jensen leaning on the kitchen counter and sizing up a random kid sitting at the kitchen table is one of them. He hangs his coat up by the door and beckons Jensen out. There’s the faint hum of words as Jensen says something to the kid before he comes out to meet him. There’s lingering fear in his green eyes and Jared wonders if it’s something to do with the fact that Jensen’s mom isn’t sending visitation orders anymore. Something’s happened in the past few weeks and he’s in the dark. That he’s the probably the last one to know isn’t unusual but it doesn’t make it any less irritating.

“What’s going on?” he asks, when Jensen doesn’t offer up any information. He gestures toward the kitchen. “Who _is_ that?” He wonders if it would have killed Jensen to send him a message or give him a phone call but communication has never been his boyfriend’s strong point.

“Jeff called in a favour,” he mutters. “I tell this guy what a bad idea it is for him to not go back to fucking Beverly Hills and accept that Daddy has a new wife and Jeff tries to persuade my mom that she’s not going to lose her case.”

“Hey, I’m right here, you know?” the kid calls out. “I can _hear_ you.” Jensen rolls his eyes and mouths ‘ _ignore him’_.

At Jared’s raised eyebrow, Jensen sighs and continues. “She called me. Said that she was firing Jeff because the whole case was pointless and she doesn’t see herself getting out and usually, I’d let her wait it out but her trial is in three weeks.” Jared’s shoulders tense up. Why is he the last to know when her trial is when he’s the one who’s been visiting her? Why didn’t Jensen tell him? And why the hell is this random kid listening in on their conversation? He glares at the kid angrily, more so because he feels out of the loop and it’s only adding to his irritation.

“Look, can I go now, or?” The kid says from where he’s busy texting. Jared barely manages to hold in his snort. He can only imagine the conversation he’d missed before he arrived home. Jensen’s never been the most patient person.

“Just go and sit down, okay?” Jensen says in a tone that implies that they’ve had this conversation at least a few times. “I’ll get to you in a minute.”

“What is he, your boyfriend?” The kid’s looking up now but miraculously still texting. Jared can feel Jensen’s growing annoyance but he doesn’t move to intervene. If anyone’s annoyed here, it should be him. He still doesn’t know who this kid is.

“Yes, this is Jared,” Jensen retorts through gritted teeth. “And Jared, this is River.”

“Sup,” River says with a high school jock nod. “Apparently my mom was a huge fan of Stand By Me. Whatever the hell that is.” Jared simply stares at him. From the kid's up top haircut to his hobo-ish hipster jeans, Abercrombie and Fitch shirt and flimsy excuse of a beard, he gets the feeling that there’s not a lot going on upstairs.

“Look, would you just give us a minute?” Jensen snaps impatiently. “Go wait in the kitchen.” River sighs and stalks off.

“So, Jeff wants us to talk to this kid about…not running away from home?” Jared asks. “Or…me. He wants me to.” Jeff’s always been kind of insensitive but he’s aware enough that he doesn’t bring up Jensen’s past much.

“We both ran away, okay,” Jensen says. “This isn’t about you.” He looks as frustrated as he sounds and Jared feels some of his annoyance recede because this really isn’t about him. It’s about Jensen and his mom, and that’s a situation that means a great deal to Jared as well.

“No, it’s about you, Jensen,” Jared replies. “You can’t let Jeff manipulate you all the time. Your grandparents are _paying_ him to help your mom.”

“Are you forgetting that he helped with your shady landlord?” Jensen shoots back. “You know, the very same reason why we moved here. Before you went back to try and be some kind of maverick of course. We can’t forget that.” They don’t talk about it much. Jared’s internal crisis or whatever the hell it was. They’re definitely in a better place but when Jensen’s angry, nothing is off limits. Despite knowing that Jensen doesn’t mean it, it still hurts.

“Why are you being like this?” Jared can’t help raising his voice. “You’re the one who’s been lying to me. How long have you known about your mom’s trial?”

Jensen scoffs and shakes his head, like he’s completely faultless here.

“Long enough. And you’d know too if you didn’t waste your time trying to make my mom feel better about herself. You’re the good guy who makes her laugh and shit and I’m the asshole who’s actually concerned about getting her out of there. How the fuck is that fair?” Realizing that they’re not going to get anywhere so long as Jensen’s in a mood, Jared reasons that they might as well sort the kid out first.

“Hey, River?” he calls out. “Come back here. I have a world class pep talk for you.” There’s a scrape of chair legs against the floor and River reappears. There’s a bored look in his face as he props himself against the doorway.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not meant to tell me it’s a pep talk, but I’m listening,” he says.

After turning to glare at Jensen, Jared looks back at River. The kid’s blue eyes are dull and withdrawn and Jared knows that he’s probably already heard it from Jeff _and_ Jensen. “I’m not entirely sure how you got mixed up with Jeff—“

“He got caught in a compromising positon at a four-star motel,” Jensen interjects dryly. “And he was subsequently busted by the cops and charged for soliciting.”

“At a motel?” Jared echoes. Honestly, he’s kind of surprised that it was four-star motel.

River shrugs. “It was kind of like, outside. And hey, the dude offered me hundred bucks? My dad cancelled my credit card and I was starving, okay? It just, happened. I didn’t know that I’d be _arrested_ and put in front of a judge. It was terrifying.” He’s chattier than Jared ever would have been if someone had tried to talk him out of the life, and Jensen probably would have punched his ‘wannabe’ saviour by now.

“And that should be a lesson to you,” Jared says. “You should probably get your ass on the first bus or plane out of here because if you stay here and become a hooker, you’re probably going to end up with a boyfriend who only tells you stuff when it suits him.”

Jensen sighs heavily. “Oh. Real nice, Jared. Tell our business to this spoiled rich kid, who’ll probably be back in his Jacuzzi come Sunday night.”

“I’m still here, just so you know,” Rivers says. “And I’m not going back. I don’t even care about the money, alright? I care about my Dad. I don’t like my new step-mom and I refuse to live with her. ” Jensen throws his hands up in the air and walks away from them, deliberately keeping his back to them. Jared has to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes. It takes him a second or two to calm down and he realizes that he can worry about Jensen later. Right now, one of them needs to set this kid on the right path. Or at least try to.

“Look, have you tried talking to your dad about your step-mom?” Jared asks. “Maybe he can talk to her and she can ease up on you because let me tell you, once the reality sets in and you realize that you’ve got no money, no friends, nowhere to live – not even anywhere to take a damn dump – you’re going to wish that you’d never left. Especially if your dad still loves you.”

“My dad is great,” River says. “It’s just… _her_.” Jared can practically feel Jensen rolling his eyes but he ignores him. It’s funny because Jensen isn’t so different from them but at the same time, running away at age twelve is a hell of a lot different than leaving home at eighteen. Jensen’s case was extreme and perhaps he isn’t the one best placed to set River straight and maybe he’s not the best person to keep his mom happy, to make her feel better about herself after everything.

Jared knows that Jensen wishes he could just rid himself of his reservations but he gets it. Jared’s mom did everything for him once upon a time and hell, she was his best friend. Jared can admit that. She was his rock up until that day she stood there and watched him leave without uttering a word. She’s trying now and Jared’s long forgiven her, because it was easier for him to let go of whatever grudge he was holding, to just rid himself of weight of disappointment and shame. However, they’re never going to be the same again, just like Jensen and his mom will never be the same again and it’s the same with Jared’s dad. While Jared can’t say that he wishes he stayed, he sometimes thinks that he could have smoothed things over with them if he didn’t run.

“Do you love your Dad?” Jared asks gently. When River nods, he shrugs. “It’s that simple. You’re not a little kid anymore. You’re an adult. You want your dad to be happy, right?” There’s another nod and River’s finally no longer attached to his cell phone. He’s actually _listening_ , which is surprising because it’s not like Jared’s some kind of expert. “Then maybe you should go back and have it out with him. Whatever you decide to do, selling yourself isn’t the answer.” Jared’s close enough to see the hard, tense line of Jensen’s shoulders and he hopes that they don’t end up having _that_ conversation again. The one where Jensen blames himself for teaching Jared ‘Hooker 101’ and Jared tells him that it’s not his fault.

“Is that what you did?” River asks, curiosity painted on his face. “Both of you.”

“Yeah, we did,” Jensen says, surprising Jared. He turns around and his face is indifferent but Jared can see the painful memories in his eyes. “Our circumstances were a lot worse than your dad marrying someone you don’t like. My mom, she…she went to prison and I didn’t have anyone and I…I didn’t have a choice. But I think I speak for both of us when I say that we’d do things differently if we had the chance.”

River cocks his head to one side as he takes all of this in. “But it worked out well, right? You have each other.” Jensen looks at Jared, unspoken apology shining in his eyes.

“Yeah. That’s the only good thing to come out of it and it was just pure luck,” he answers. “Best thing that ever happened to me. But life isn’t like Pretty Woman. You need to go home, smooth things over with your dad and be grateful for what you’ve got.”

“Okay. Message received,” River says with a groan. “Life on the streets is _not_ for me anyway. People are fucking dogs. I really was desperate, otherwise I never would have gone that far with that guy.”

Jared chuckles despite himself, he kind of likes the kid. They’re probably not too far apart in age but it’s like looking at a younger version of himself. And he hopes to hell that they’ve put him on the right path.

~

Later when River’s sleeping in the guestroom, with all of his booking details waiting for him on the dresser, Jared finally corners Jensen in their room. Jensen begged off early a few hours ago, claiming he was tired even though it was his day off. Jared let it slide, and answered all of River’s questions until he was three seconds away from throttling him. That’s given him enough time to realize that he’s being ridiculous. He doesn’t need to know every little detail about Jensen’s mom, it’s not like visiting her is a hardship and he knows that it’s always been a sore point between them and he thinks that maybe it’s time to pull back.

“I’m not going to visit your mom anymore,” he says when he sees Jensen sitting up with his book propped up in front of him. “I think that when the time is right, you’ll go back to seeing her and maybe we’ll go together. But I don’t want to come between you and your mom.” He can tell that Jensen doesn’t want to have this discussion now (or possibly ever).

“You’re not coming between us,” Jensen says wearily as he sets his book down. “You’ve been great and I guess I’m just annoyed at myself. Jeff can call in all the favours that he wants, but I know that she’s not going to budge unless I go and talk to her and that’s what I’m going to do.” Jared feels the usual twinge of sadness he gets when Jensen’s talking about his mom. It always gets to him just how much pain is there. Jared’s only been away from his parents for a few years – Jensen’s been away from his mom for three times as long. That’s something that he will never fully understand so he’s happy to just sit back and follow Jensen’s lead. Happy to just be here.

“Well, whatever you decide to do, I’ll be here to support you,” Jared says as he joins Jensen on the bed. He reaches over and tangles their fingers together.

“Thanks, Jared,” Jensen murmurs as he squeezes Jared’s hand. He leans back and pulls Jared next to him. “He’s not going to go back, you know?”

“Who isn’t?” Jared replies in a confused tone. “River? I thought that we got through to him? He seemed to be open to the idea of going back.” The thought of somehow failing to get through to River weighs on Jared heavily and he sits up, tugs his hand out of Jensen’s grasp.

“We did,” Jensen confirms. “Because trust me, I tried for about two hours and you came home and laid everything down for him in five minutes and you were great, okay? But just think about it. He’s eighteen, and not the most mature kid. There’s going to be a moment where he realises that nothing will change and that he’s going back to the same shit he ran away from.” Jared does think about it. He thinks about what would have happened if someone had gotten him a plane ticket. Would he have swallowed down the fear of rejection and boarded that plane or would he have ripped his ticket into shreds, convinced that his re-emergence wouldn’t change a damn thing. He knows that it’s the latter and he knows that Jensen is right.

“So what do we do?” he asks. “We can’t just let him go back on the streets. I mean, you said that the judge dismissed his case but it won’t look good if he gets picked up again.” Jensen’s quiet for a while, which makes Jared a little antsy. His fears are confirmed when Jensen says,

“Maybe he can stay here,” he pauses when he sees that Jared’s about to protest but carries on quickly. “Not permanently, just long enough for him to sort things out with his Dad. That way we can keep an eye on him and Jeff can stop being an asshole. I mean, if you don’t think you’re up for it, then I can find him somewhere else to stay but this is…”

Jared swallows past the sudden lump in his throat. “This is your chance to right some wrongs, right? To make up for not putting me on the straight and narrow all of those years ago.” If there’s an edge to his voice, it’s not deliberate. He might hate that this always comes up one way of another but it’s part of their story, part of _them_. He can’t erase it, no matter how much he wants to.

“It was different back when we were just friends or fuck buddies, whatever you want to call it,” Jensen says. “The guilt was there, but it didn’t hurt as much. Now though? And hell, ever since I realised I was in love with you, it’s always going to be there. The knowledge that I was complicit in you getting hurt, and you almost…” Jensen’s voice falters and dies out, like he cannot physically continue and Jared closes the distance once again. He lays next to Jensen and puts his head on his shoulder. He doesn’t speak; he doesn’t know what else to say. There’s nothing to forgive. But maybe Jared’s not the one who needs to do the forgiving.

Maybe Jensen needs to forgive himself.

~

The next morning, Jared and Jensen enter the kitchen to find River eating a bowl of Cap’N’Crunch. It’s a kind of brazen but not even Jensen can stop his chuckle.

“I heard you guys talking last night,” River says once they sit down with their breakfast. “You were right. I was going to take the ticket, sell it and use the money to get on a bus somewhere. I don’t know where. But I was going to. Until I heard you talking.”

Jensen’s quiet, leaving Jared to ask the pertinent question. “What made you change your mind?”

River shrugs and glances at Jensen before looking back at Jared. “You. Both of you. You’ve been through life on your own, you’ve been through all kinds of shit and you’re both still here, still going on. And I could have all of that as well, without the whole almost getting killed part. I’m sorry if that sounds bad but I don’t want to go through what you went through. Ever. So if that means getting over the fact that my dad’s in love with someone that I hate, then so be it. And I’m off to college soon anyway. It’s time to grow up, right?”

“Yes, it is,” Jared says.

“Can I still stay here though?” River asks, surprising them both, though Jared feels more than _sees_ Jensen’s surprise. He’s been still and stoic all throughout the conversation and it’s too early in the morning for Jared to try and gage his mood. They’ll talk later. “Just for a few weeks? I’m not ready to go back. Not yet.”

Jared doesn’t answer him because it’s up to Jensen. Neither of them are really equipped to guide this kid, hell, the only qualifications they have are in bad choices. However, maybe that’s enough to put someone on the right path, Jared doesn’t know.

“Just for a few weeks,” Jensen speaks up eventually. “Jeff’s probably going to try and arrange something with your dad and when he does, you have to talk to him. That’s a condition.” River nods eagerly just Jared wonders if the kid’s dad would be happy about his son staying with them. He’s not necessarily ashamed of their past, but it’s not something he likes to advertise either.

“Relax, Jared,” River says. “I’m not going to tell my Dad that you both used to be hookers, okay? I’ll tell him that you’re a friend of Jeff’s. He and my dad go way back, so he won’t even care. In fact I’m going to go and call him now. Might as well let him yell at me over the phone before he actually has a chance to do it person.” He’s up and out of his seat before Jared or Jensen can utter a word and they're left blinking at the now vacant spot across from them.

“Just a few weeks?” Jared says for confirmation.

Jensen laughs. “I don’t think either of us can handle much more than that. I’m sure we’ll be fine. And I’ll make it up to you if it isn’t.”

Jared’s not too convinced but he lets it go.

Maybe this is what it will take to relieve Jensen of his guilt once and for all.


End file.
